


Missing You

by nhstarks



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anorexia, Anxiety, Crying, Dad!Tony, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fainting, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Guilt, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Character Death, Nightmares, Overdosing, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Protective Tony Stark, Recovery, Suicide Attempt, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Worried Tony Stark, as in they get along now, honestly Tony is such a dad, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-05-23 05:43:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14928239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nhstarks/pseuds/nhstarks
Summary: “Peter, you seem to be in distress, do you want me to run a scan for you? I would advise to seek medical attention soon.” Karen was definitely right. He was in distress. But he didn’t neeed a scan, he knew what was going on: an overdose.______Based on Missing You by All Time Low_____READ THE TAGS!!!





	1. your sweet, suburban tomb.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic ever written, I hope you guys enjoy it! I'm open to suggestions, so if you think I can make this suck in any way less, let me know!

Peter never really thought about how many painkillers would actually shut the ache in his head, he wanted to see how many would be enough to make up for his enhanced metabolism digesting the meds so fast. A normal migraine would probably be cured with a couple of hours of sleep but this couldn’t be solved dozing off. This one made him feel like a train crashed in the back of his skull, it was absolutely mortifying. So he did what he knew, he took a handful of painkillers and shoved it down his throat hoping for the best.  
It was 2am on a Friday morning and he couldn’t get a restful night. He has been skipping patrol for the last couple of weeks becasue he just couldn’t bring himself to put his suit on and pretend to be something he apparently wasn’t. To further his self hatred, Peter thought useful to put on the mask and talk to Karen. As he hasn’t got much friends anymore, why not talk to an AI?

“Good morning Peter, do you want me to show what’s going on in the streets of Queens tonight? I’m noticing a robbery just 5 minutes away” At that Peter flinched. He was supposed to be helping people but instead he was locked in his room trying to ease his mind. How pathetic and selfish. For some unknown reason, Peter deemed right to start crying. His headache was already wearing off to be replaced with an awful feeling of turnining in his stomach. Ugh, not again. 

“Peter you seem to be in distress, do you want me to run a scan for you? I would advise to seek medical attention soon.” Karen was definitely right. He was in distress. But he didn’t neeed a scan, he knew what was going on: an overdose. For some strange reason Peter didn’t mind how awful that word sounds in his ears, he just knew that it had to be a secret. 

“No Karen, thank you. I’m okay.” He really wanted to believe that but he couldn’t. He felt trapped, he felt dead, he felt like he was inside of a tomb. Out of the sudden Peter was hyperventilating. A building. Rubble. Too much rubble. The Vulture. His fault, it’s all his fault. Vomit made an appearance just seconds after Peter was sprinting to the bathroom to empty his stomach of the little food he had inside. He was exhausted and with that feeling darkness engulfed him and he no longer felt pain as unconsciousness took over.  
___

Okay. Taking that many pills was definitely not wise. His head was throbbing as he tried to acknowledge his surroundings. This definitely wasn’t his room. He felt his bum cold and sore and that’s when he realized he was on the bathroom floor. Memories from the night before flooded his mind as he got up and hopped in the shower. He had absolutely no idea what time it was but one thing was for sure: he was late for school. After that quick shower Peter realized that this was yet another dreadful day. He had to go and put on a happy mask at school so no one would notice. With this in mind, he put on an oversized sweater, some jeans and his usual sneakers and sprinted off to the subway station without having breakfast, again. Thank god aunt May was taking the night shifts or else he wouldn’t have gotten away so easily.  
It was 9am when he set foot in the school’s property, just in time to be greeted with a very pissed principal Morita at the gates apparently waiting for him. What a great way to start the day. 

“To my office. Now.” Those words seemed to be the principal’s mantra every time he saw Peter, it was getting kind of annoying. Arriving at the office he felt the judgemental stares of the other students that were around, he specially felt Eugene’s gaze and heard him laughing at him for what felt like the hundreth time this week. 

“This is the ninth time you’re late for school this month. You know there’s only two weeks left for summer break, can’t you wait to be lazy then so the school doesn’t have to be responsible for it?” Peter knew that if he lifted his head up and met the man’s gaze he would break down to tears. He knew he was a burden, he knew he was a problem no one wanted to fix, so he simply kept his head down and nodded feeling as useless and pathetic as ever. Without noticing this, principal Morita continued. 

“You will stay today after class for detention. Now this is your final warning, if you continue like this I will have no other choice but to call your aunt and discuss how suspension will suit you, are we clear?” Peter felt panic starting to grow in the back of his throat in the form of bile, he had to get out of there. 

“Yes, sir” Managing to say that was an absolute challenge, realizing he hadn’t spoken to anyone in the past weekend it seemed reasonable. 

“Now get to class and stay out of trouble.” He did as he was commanded and as he stood up he felt so dizzy he had to regain balance by supporting himself in the chair. 

His first stop was the bathroom, he had to try and get something out. The aftermath of those pills were still in his body and he never felt worse but it was all for nothing as the only food that went through this mouth during the weekend was some crackers and two bottles of water. So much for an enhanced individual, right? Disappointed at the lack of cooperation of his body, Peter reluctantly got up and went to chemistry class. In the back of his head he remembered how much he used to love that class, he got to try new combinations for his web fluid but now it just seemed dull and annoying. He shared that class with Ned and the concerned look on his face was almost inevitable. Almost. He had been avoiding his best friend for almost a month now, he knew that he would spill everything to the boy and he would do something over the top like calling his aunt or alerting the school and that’s something Peter simply didn’t have time for right now. 

Surprisingly enough, the class was over sooner than expected and lunch was coming just after his history class. During the lesson about the Sokovia Accords Peter couldn’t help but laugh at the irony that it was to have been in a fight that was discussed over in school. Mr. Stark didn’t exactly tell him why he was needed in Germany, for Peter being able to help his childhood hero was more than enough and simply didn’t ask any questions. Half of the class was spent remembering how much fun he had and how useful he felt. The other part though was spent on the verge of tears because he reminded himself how much he had fucked up during the Vulture fiasco, he was truly a mess and definitely didn’t help much. That’s why when lunch came around he didn’t manage to get anything in his system, he felt like he wasn’t worthy of a nice meal, he deserved the pain for messing up so much. Sat in the corner of the room was Peter staring numbly at the walls as he waited for lunch break to be over and finally be able to get back home. Thank god it was friday and they were letting them go home at midday. 

Thankfully detention only lasted an hour, an hour full of yawning and scowls, so he was able to leave sooner than expected. Peter decided to go patrolling. It wasn’t like his life could get any worse so why hold back from helping someone while he still could? With the thought in his mind he ran back to his apartment without a second glance at Ned and MJ who were screaming at him to wait for them. He didn’t know why they waited for him to leave detention but right now it really didn’t matter to him. Upon his arrival he was already taking off his shoes and sweater so he could take less time chaging and going faster where he was needed. Putting on the suit again felt nice. It had been a good couple of weeks since he last did but now it didn’t matter how unworthy he felt of it because he knew there could be people who could use the little help he could provide. Leaving his room he noticed a pink sticky note on his window that read ‘going for a job meeting in San Francisco, I’ll be back in two weeks! Don’t stay out too late and be good! - May’. It was normal, these meetings, they were pretty frecuent and she trusted that Peter would take care of himself just fine. He laughed in the back of his mind, oh, the irony. Smiling down to it Peter left with a reminder of how great his aunt was and how everything he did was for her. 

“Good afternoon, Peter. It’s nice hearing from you again. Do you want me to show where people need Spider-Man’s help?” Hearing Karen again made something inside him both twist and ease. He felt calm knowning he wasn’t alone but at the same time he was reminded that Mr. Stark knew what he was doing and that added some extra pressure to what he did.

“Yes, Karen, thank you very much.” After hearing who needed aid, Peter swung from building to building in his webs when, out of the sudden, he felt dizzy and lost consciousness for a mere second, causing him to lose direction and almost stomping himself to a wall. That would’ve sucked. Getting his senses back, he heard someone talk to his ears.

“Peter, you are severly dehydrated and you’ve lost a significant amount of weight in the past weeks. I would advice to get some fluids and rest up for the weekend for you to get stronger.” Although he knew it was just the way she was programmed, it was kind of nice knowing someone worried about him. Nevertheless he ignored the suggestion and continued on with his plan for the afternoon. 

The first couple of hours were going by without problems, he helped several people get directions to their destination, stopped two muggings and returned some stolen items. Nevertheless, as the sun began to set he heard a cry for help in an alley. It came from a woman. He immediately swung to her help and when he arrived he realized a potentially dangerous man was touching her and threatening to kill her. His instinct told him to run the other way but he knew better than to leave the woman alone so instead he webbed the criminal’s hands together and started to sass out, smart decision it seemed at the time. 

“You know what’s better than french fries? consent.” For some reason Peter felt confident enough and continued his ramble while helping the lady off the ground and out of the alley. 

“It must be really sad to know the only way to get a woman is by forcing her, but guess what? that’s illegal!” Being Spider-Man gave Peter the chance to be someone he was definitely not so why not continue to give him hell? His sense was practically begging him to run off and protect himself but sadly he was way too late to listen to it because next thing he knows his hands are clenching to the side of his chest, realizing a knife was now stuck in him. With a whimper he fell to the ground as he threw a web grenade to the criminal so he couldn’t get away. The last thing he heard before being engulfed by the darkness was Karen. 

“Baby Monitor Protocol activated. Mr. Stark has been contacted and is on his way.” and then he was out.


	2. I'll help you stitch up your wounds.

Out of all the things that he expected to happen on a friday night, getting an alert from the Baby Monitor Protocol he installed in Peter’s suit was definitely not one of them. He knew the kid hasn’t gone out as his vigilante self in the past weeks, which was alright but still odd. Tony told himself he’d stop by Queens someday to talk to Peter about it and maybe help if there was anything he could do. Because of this it was actually kind of surprising to receive the alert. The first notice came in and said Peter was in a fight. Tony didn’t think much of it because it was something that happened all the time when he was out patrolling, the inevitable bit of the job. So he continued to dine at the too fancy, too pricey restaurant he was in with Pepper for their anniversary making himself a mental note to check up on the spider-boy when he got back to the compound.

He should’ve known something was wrong. He should’ve paid attention the first time the alert was sent. He should’ve been there for Peter in these past months instead of disappearing off his radar. He realized that when the second alert came in saying “Sir, Peter is heavily wounded and is at great lethal risk.”. He read the notice in his StarkPhone and began breathing heavily, not knowing exactly what to do. As if on cue, and being the wonderful woman she is, Pepper stepped in and read the message.

“Go, it’s alright. I’ll take care of this here. He needs you.” She said and stood up, probably going to pay the bill. He owed this woman the world and Tony would make sure she knew that every day of her life. Nevertheless, now was not the time so he simply kissed her cheek and ran off to the street where the Mark 47 was already waiting for him, having called it a few moments prior.

“Fri, you know what to do. Transfer the data from his suit and give me a list of his injuries.” The thought of what could be wrong made his stomach turn and his left hand shake. 

“Sir, Peter got stabbed in the chest and it is puncturing his left lung. Aside from that, the knife is close to his heart which could cause lethal damage if any movement is made. He is also sustaining several hematomas in his face and stomach. Peter seems to be dehydrated and suffering from organ malfunction due to lack of nourishment. Time is crucial, sir, he needs medical attention immediately.” Damn. That was way more information than he expected. 

On one side, he was worried sick for the stab wound, nevertheless what surprised Tony is how he felt his insides turn when he heard he was malnourished. How long has it been since he last ate a proper meal? Was it because of financial issues? Not having the answers to the million of questions popping up in his head made Tony frustrated to no end. He didn’t exactly know the distance between Queens and the restaurant he was at in Manhattan, it couldn’t be that far away, but it felt like ages before he was trying to locate the specific point where Peter was at. F.R.I.D.A.Y. alerted him that Peter’s suit had been located just two blocks out from where he was, thank god it wasn’t far away. 

Stepping in the alley it seemed like it was all way too quiet. Nevertheless he spotted someone caught in a web to the wall. This must be the criminal. He called the police so they could take care of him, Tony simply didn’t have the time or attention span right now. Registering the area further he realized there were remains of webs stuck to several places and a jacket on the floor, it seemed to be a woman’s one. He connected the dots and couldn’t help but feel overly proud of his protegé for stopping such atrocity. A pair of legs were visible from where Tony was standing, they weren’t that clear so he couldn’t exactly tell if it was Peter or not but when he saw the color of the clothing that covered the person’s legs there was no way to deny it, it was him. It was like his mind was going a million miles per hour but his body was as stiff as stone. The first thing that came to Tony’s mind was Bruce. He was the only one who could actually help Peter without selling him out to the press. 

“Bruce, I need you to come immediately to where I am. Bring the Quinjet and medical equipment, Peter is badly hurt.” Without another word, and seeming as Dr. Banner had picked up to the first ring, he hung up sending his coordinates and rushed to Peter’s side to try to wake him up. 

“Come on Spider-Man, don’t do this to me right now, you still have a lot of white hairs to take out of me.” Tony really wanted to erase the picture from his mind. It was traumatizing seeing the kid he grew to love pale as chalk and not moving, crimson liquid covering his chest, seeming as every single breath of life decided to leave his body. No. No. This wouldn’t happen now, not like this. Continuing the mantra of pleads to regain consciousness, Tony didn’t realize his eyes were filled with tears. He hadn’t noticed before but now that he saw the kid in the suit he realized just how much weight he had lost since he last saw him. It seemed like he was nothing but bones, the sight took a choked sob out of the engineer. He was taken aback by a voice, he couldn’t express the relief he felt in his soul. 

“T-T…” Peter couldn’t finish the word as he felt blood coming up his throat and spitting it, falling to unconsciousness all over again. This was bad, Tony knew it, he had seen it before. Blood puking was definitely a sign that something was terribly wrong. He couldn’t do much more than command F.R.I.D.A.Y. to call Bruce and tell him to hurry. Nevertheless, as he was about to say the words, he heard the Quinjet over his head and saw it landing outside the alley. He couldn’t be thankful enough for the fact that it was just by the East River. 

He didn’t realize how long it had been until Bruce laid a hand on his shoulder and talked to him. “Tony you have to let go so we can help him.” He knew Bruce was right but honestly? he felt like if he let go of Peter’s hand his life would let go as well. He just couldn’t do it. 

“No Bruce, I’m coming with you to the compound.” Apparently Bruce understood Tony wouldn’t change his mind because without wasting another second the medical team got Peter up in a stretcher careful not to move him around a lot in order to keep the stab wound as clean as possible all while Tony held his hand tightly and kept reassuring him that everything would be alright. 

It was a long way to the compound, Tony knew it. What he didn’t know was that his whole way down to their new home would be filled with haunting thoughts. He just couldn’t point where he went wrong. He made sure to ask F.R.I.D.A.Y. if there was anything new on the kid that should spark his attention but of course there would be no notice, he hadn’t been wearing the suit in the past month, there was no way the suit could’ve alerted the AI. Nevertheless, Tony felt like an idiot. Peter usually checked in with Happy and told him about his day and sometimes school, it grew to be a healthy habit for all the billionaire, the driver and the kid. But now that he thought about it, he hadn’t received any word from the kid in the past weeks and he didn’t deem important to ask Happy if he had chatted with him recently. He could’ve avoided this fiasco if he had been paying closer attention. It had been three months since the Vulture thing and he hadn’t thought for a second how it impacted Peter’s life. Tony knew more than anyone else what kind of events trigger PTSD, he should’ve been more careful, he should’ve taken better care of the kid he mentored. As they were getting closer to the compound, remorse filled his loud thoughts. Apparently they were too loud as the next thing he heard that took him out of the downhill spiral was Bruce.

“You know, you shouldn’t blame yourself. This was out of your hands, Tony. We have checked his blood sugar levels and they’re dangerously low. And according to what we’ve learned, it’s been like this for the past two weeks. He must’ve been restricting his intake. We will get to the bottom of this but you need to stay calm for the kid, he still looks up to you and you need to be strong so he’s brave enough to face what’s coming ahead of him. It won’t be easy, you know?” Tony loved how Bruce always seemed to have everything in order, he always seemed so collected, so calm. Ironically enough. But he was right. 

He had to find a way to help the kid and he knew it had to be at the compound because otherwise he wouldn’t be able to check up on him and make sure he has everything he needs, and that he’s loved and attended to. He didn’t know if he should tell aunt May the whole thing or simply tell her it was another retreat. Since she found out about the Spider-Man thing, Tony and May had become close despite her not trusting him, they both wanted Peter’s safety. So he knew he had to tell her one way or another. He also didn’t know what would happen from now on. Would Peter move in with them permanently? Will his organs regain their normal function? Is Peter ever going to be completely happy again? If the Protocol hadn’t been activated, would Peter be dead? These thoughts made Tony lose his mind and his hand started shaking violently. He didn’t even realize they had already arrived at the compound, it was Steve, who was apparently called to receive them by Bruce, who made him recenter in what was important. 

“Tony, the team has been alerted. They are waiting updates on Peter and are very worried. Pepper has called a lot since she learned Bruce was going to meet you in Queens, she's rescheduling everything you have in the next couple of weeks. The Med Bay is ready for him whenever Bruce is ready.” He was so grateful to have Steve again in his life to be his right hand. He didn’t even think about telling the team about what happened, but thank god for Steve who already took care of everything. 

Tony simply nodded a grateful thanks and rushed with Bruce to the Med Bay, Peter still unconscious and pale as ever. Although he was the owner of the building, Tony wasn’t allowed in the surgery room. He knew it was for his own good but it still pissed him off. They knew Peter would need him there and he wouldn’t be. Tony was failing him again. Letting out a frustrated sigh he turned to Steve and let him guide Tony to the kitchen to have something to eat. He didn’t even realize he hadn’t eaten in 16 hours, having skipped lunch and his dinner interrupted. It was all silent, an uncomfortable silence filled with unanswered questions while he bit a croissant he found in the table counter. He felt footsteps in the entrance of the kitchen and lifting his head up he was confronted by the gaze of his fellow teammates, worry all over their face. 

“What the hell am I going to do now?” Frustration was all over his voice when he let out the question they all dreaded and no one knew how to answer.


	3. I know how much that hurts.

Peter has gotten used to the cold. Ever since he began restricting what he ate, he was always cold and weak. At first it was definitely annoying because it was so uncomfortable that it made Peter eat and hate himself even more. Now though, now being cold was like a drug. It was his punishment for being so screwed up. He doesn’t remember much from what had happened, but he did remember that he was cold the last time he was awake. At this very moment, Peter was warm. He felt like his skin was burning up and he vaguely wondered if the room he was in was on fire. What if he had eaten again? Had he fucked up so bad that he ate again? 

His thoughts were interrupted by a voice he didn’t exactly recognize, he did manage to pick up on what the person was saying, thanks enhanced hearing. 

“His heart rate is changing abnormally, I think he’s about to wake up. Call Tony to the Med Bay and tell him it’s about Peter. The kid will need him when he’s awake.” Several ideas popped up in Peter’s mind. The voice must surely be a doctor. He felt him touch his arm and that’s when he realized he had an IV line in his right forearm. Nevertheless what struck Peter the hardest was the fact that he mentioned Tony. He hadn’t heard from the man in over three months now. Why would he appear out of the sudden again? Is he taking back the suit again? Will Tony scold him for always doing the wrong thing? Will he ban Peter from ever being back at the compound? The thoughts sent Peter over the edge and he jumped out of the bed and stuck himself upside down to the room’s ceiling. 

Peter didn’t realize what was actually going on but he did know two things for certain: the people on the floor were yelling at him and there was blood coming out of his chest. He knew that he would pass out any minute now, he wasn’t stupid, the blood loss added with the adrenaline and his overwhelming feelings and senses were bound to take him to the ground eventually. But Peter refused to be weak again, he had to be better at least once. With this in his mind he allowed himself to actually listen to what everyone was saying. Most of the words came from the voice he heard earlier, and now that he was awake he realized it was no other than Dr. Banner. 

“Peter come on, get down here, you’re hurting yourself further, we just want to help you.” For some reason, Bruce managed to seem collected but at the same time freaked out, it was kind of amusing to watch. He was calmed with those words though, they seemed to carry trust within them so he began to relax and make his way to the wall the get down. But of course, life doesn’t work as Peter would like it to because the second he made the decision a very tired Tony Stark came storming through the room’s doors. He didn’t seem to be calm or in a gaming mood, it kinda scared Peter to see him so out of himself, it reminded him of that time after the ferry fiasco he created when Tony took his suit away. 

“Kid, I swear to god if you don’t get down here in the next 3 seconds I will crawl up there myself and you won’t hear the end of it.” Although he was mad, evidently, his attitude made it seem like he was worried. Which of course was impossible as he didn’t really care about Peter. He just thought that it was quite hypocritical of Tony to be here pretending to care when back then when Peter needed him he didn’t even bother to pick up the phone to see what he was doing. Peter felt embarrassed and humiliated, so he began crying. In the middle of such a mess, Peter didn’t exactly realize his feet and fingers were slipping and when it was too late to do something he fell from the ceiling. 

Even though it seemed weird, Peter enjoyed the feeling of falling. He didn’t exactly hope he died but it was nice knowing that there was nothing stopping the imminent, no matter how hard he tried. It was ironical, really. Seeming as Peter always tried his best to avoid screwing up further. But this time there was absolutely nothing he could do. He embraced the unavoidable and waited for his bones to crash against the hard surface that the floor was, altough he didn’t. Instead he was received by strong armst hat didn’t let him hit down. He knew who it was, he just didn’t want to acknowledge how much he actually needed the man. Without a word, he was put to bed and continued crying until he fell asleep while people fussed over him. 

_____________________________________

Tony led Dr. Banner out of the room so they could talk privately. They were both silent after Bruce managed to correct the damage that was done to his wound by the sudden movements Peter made. He didn’t exactly blame the kid, but at the same time he just wanted to understand what was happening. It had been two days since it happened, two days of boring silence when he was so used to having the kid ramble about his day and Spider-Man. Tony wouldn’t admit it to anyone but the kid had crawled a way up to his heart, he just couldn’t bear to see him hurt. 

“Bruce, we need to do something so he doesn’t pull something like this again” Tony felt like he aged 40 years in a matter of seconds. Seeing his protegé fall from the ceiling made his heart stop. Thankfully his limbs weren’t as slow as his mind or else Peter would probably be a treasured memory. 

“What are you saying? That we should strap him down until we get to talk some sense into him? That’s not how teenagers work, Tony, you know that.” Bruce was right but he honestly didn’t know if Peter’s safety was worth risking for how he felt about the two adults. 

“I know Bruce, but you saw what he pulled in there. What if the next time it happens we are not there? What if he falls? That is on me. I don’t need him hurt another time on my account. I’ve had my fill” Tony was now frustrated. He knew Banner was right and that he couldn’t simply lock Peter in a room full of cushions so he wouldn’t hurt himself. But at the same time he also knew he couldn’t let him go on with life as if nothing had happened because in his heart he knew it would happen again and Tony might not be in time then.

“Tell you what. Let’s sedate him so we can talk to him. That’s my last offer. We won’t give him anything too strong, just enough so he stays in bed while we talk. How does that sound?” It really annoyed Tony that Bruce always seemed to have the answer to every single little problem the team had. But it seemed like a viable option so Tony nodded and went back inside the room to find a very asleep teenager. It was actually pretty amazing how appearances deceive. If Tony didn’t know better, he would’ve thought that the kid laying in the bed was just taking a nap, instead of recovering of a stab wound and severe dehydration caused by self-induced starvation. 

While Bruce was pushing in the sedative, Tony couldn’t help but feel guilty because he was the one that brought Peter into this mess. He vaguely wondered if this was all because of what happened with the Vulture. But it couldn’t be, he made sure Peter was alright, he seemed just fine when Tony offered him the spot in the team. So what in the world happened that made the happy kid he knew back them turn into the sad bag of bones in front of him? He couldn’t give an answer and it was awful because he usually had an answer to most of his questions. But this was something different, this was someone he cared about who was feeling as down as ever. This wasn’t something he could simply create something for, this was about him not feeling loved and enough, Tony thought at least. 

When the sedative kicked in, Peter fluttered his eyes open and it seemed like they were filled with panic. He wished he could help Peter, but Tony knew that he didn’t have the best people qualities so he limited himself to stare at him. Thank god Bruce decided to speak up because the tension was beginning to rise and it was definitely uncomfortable. 

“Hey Peter, glad you’re awake now. We gave you some sedatives for the pain, okay? You will feel groggy for the next few hours but it’s okay, if you need anything I’ll be right outside of the door.” Tony whispered a small thanks to what Bruce nodded and led everyone but Peter and Tony out of the room. 

“Peter, we need to talk.” As he said the words he realized that this wasn’t about the young hero he was mentoring. Peter was his responsibility right now and he was going to make sure that he was okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for not uploading during the weekend, I had some stuff to take care of. But now I'm back with a new chapter! I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think in the comments section.


	4. I heard that you've been having some trouble finding your place in the world.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> guys I'm so so sorry for not posting this sooner, I was away on vacation with my family and there was no internet, chapters will be updated more regularly from now on!

Those words were never a good thing. It usually led to a pretty long talk about how life is worth living and calorie intake. Peter absolutely dreaded these talks, not because it made him feel guilty, as much people would think, but because he already knew this and he felt like an idiot having someone repeat it all over again. So he simply let out an angry scoff to demonstrate his disapproval on the dialogue. 

“You know what? I don’t care if you don’t talk but you better listen what I have to say, kid.” Seeing Tony this stern brought chills to his skin, but there was nothing he could do now, the lecture was upon him. 

“I hope you know how many grey hairs you took out of me this weekend, kid. Finding you with a stab wound and deeply malnourished in an alley? not cool. You see, Peter, people can help you. There are people who are more than willing to help you through any kind of distress you’re in. Myself included, but if you tell someone no one will believe you. Anyway I got sidetracked, where was I? Oh yeah, how you’ve been eating hardly a quarter of your necessary daily calorie intake. You could’ve done deep damage to your organs, kid, this is pretty serious. I will not lecture you anymore, I know it is pointless and exhausting for the both of us. But here’s the thing Peter. I have talked to May and you’re staying here until you get back up to a normal teenager weight and until a psychiatrist deems safe for you to be on your own on the streets.” There were so many thoughts in his head right now. When did Mr. Stark call May? Is she coming here? And most importantly, would she be disappointed yet again? Aside from concern eating up his insides, he felt rage. Anger took all over him and he snapped. 

“What?! I will not be kept here against my will. I want to leave now. Get out of here I hate you!” He tried getting up, he really did but his muscles just wouldn’t cooperate and he reluctantly fell back to the bed without facing Tony. 

“I don’t care, kid, you’re staying here until you get better. Cool off and call me if you need anything.” And without a word, the man left the room allowing Peter to finally cry. 

———  
As Tony left the room he immediately remembered the conversation he had with May. There was a lot of crying, a lot of reassurance and a hell lot of scolding from her side. He understood, though, so he didn’t really mind. She had agreed reluctantly to the fact that the best care for Peter, specially given his particular abilities, would be provided by Tony’s team, so she didn’t argue when Mr. Stark suggested that Peter should stay at the compound until everything was left behind and Peter was back to his old happy and bubbly self. 

So Tony started doing what he did best: he began researching and looking for the best solution to help the enhanced kid. The chat with Peter was at midday but it was now 3am in the morning and he just couldn’t bring himself to stop. What if he did stop and he didn’t have enough information to help Peter? What if he’s missed an important fact that will take the kid out of the hole he’s in? Tony simply couldn’t bring himself to stop. He felt like he was in some kind of isolated bubble, he didn’t hear a thing other that F.R.I.D.A.Y. telling him what she’d found on depression, eating disorders and such. This is why he didn’t hear the door of his lab being unlocked. He knew who it was, only four people in the entire world knew the combination to open up his personal space and right now one of them was laying in the MedBay and another had just left for a Stark Industries meeting in Washington D.C. so it was down to two people. His doubts were solved when he saw Steve and Rhodey both enter the place. 

“Tony this is not healthy, come on. Get up and go to bed already it’s well past a normal hour to be up.” Rhodey always acted like this, like he felt the need to look after him and his wellbeing, he couldn’t thank him enough for it.

“Rhodes is right, Stark, you’re only hurting yourself and this will in no way help Peter.” Steve was definitely more stern though, he knew how to make Tony come back to his senses but right now it didn’t seem to be working.

He looked at them with desperate eyes and that’s when he realized he had them all wet by tears, but there was no way he was going to crumble, he had to be at his best so he could provide Peter the best possible care so he felt better soon. 

“Oh, Tony, this was not your fault, we will find a way to help the kid, I promise but now you really need to eat something and get some sleep, you look wrecked.” Rhodey was right he did feel like shit, but he just couldn’t bring himself to move a muscle until he knew how to deal with this massive issue in front of him.

“Okay, that’s enough. Either you get up now and head to your quarters or I’m going to have to call Thor in here and personally carry you to your bed, I am not playing around here, Tony, get your act together and be as smart as you really are.” Steve was beginning to lose his temper, and with all things considered, it wasn’t something that happened frequently. Tony obliged and got up and silently got up from his seat only commanding the AI to save everything he had looked up in his personal folder. He could see Rhodey’s and Steve’s concern but he simply didn’t have words right now, he just wanted to make things right. 

Sleep came faster than he thought it would but it was not a restful night seeming as his mind would only play scenarios in his head in which he didn’t get to the spider kid on time and he saw a pale Queens’ vigilante dead on the floor.  
_____  
As the next day rolled by, Tony got up shortly after getting barely two hours of sleep, he couldn’t waste any more time so he went to the one person who could maybe enlighten the path to be followed from now on. Without much thought, Tony was knocking on the door of Vision’s bedroom, he didn’t ever sleep so Tony was sure he would be available to help. Getting into the room and spotting Vision putting on a sweater made Tony realize how severe the situation was. The whole team was eventually going to get involved in Peter’s recovery and he wasn’t exactly sure if he liked that or if it terrified him. 

“We all want to help Peter, Tony, is there anything you need at the moment? It’s barely 5am, and I’m sure you haven’t gotten much sleep last night.” Sometimes it really angered Tony that Vision was so smart, but at the same time it was a nice thing to have someone to keep him grounded. 

“Yeah, I was actually here to ask for your advise, seeming as you’re definitely the wisest.” In his head it sounded nice but it came off more as an insult and he immediately regretted it, but apparently Vision seemed to notice that and he laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“I believe that Peter is dealing with a serious case of anorexia and depression. The best course of action at the moment is keep him with an IV so he gets the nutrients he needs seeming as his stomach will reject any food provided until the body grows used to being warm and full again, it won’t be for another two weeks that he will be able to keep down any solid intake. I also recommend keeping an eye on him at every moment, Peter seems to be sneaky and his current health situation makes his abilities weaken so if he tries anything too radical it can be fatal. I also deem appropriate to find a counselor for Peter and making sure he’s appreciated at all times. With this course of treatment Peter should begin to respond to it in about two months.” Vision was like a computer, no, he was actually one which was made into a bodily form. It was amazing to have him there and the information provided added to the one that he’d looked up last night would probably be enough, or at least he hoped. 

He was about to head out after thanking him for the help when he was stopped by Vision’s voice “don’t forget that he’s a teen who has been through a lot, this process will not be easy so you need to be prepared for a lot of downs. We will be here any time you feel like you need our help.” And with that Tony left the room and immediately went to Peter’s room in the MedBay. 

_____

Peter woke up to a pounding headache and he slightly jumped when he realized it was almost noon, apparently he was missing several hours of sleep, or at least his body seemed to think that. The next thing he noticed was a suit that dressed up a very tired Mr. Stark. He had learned to notice when the man was too tired or when he was angry so he could shut his mouth and listen for once in his life. Apparently the engineer didn’t notice when he woke up because he was sure that if he did he would’ve never let himself cry in front of Peter. He sort of felt guilty for making Tony cry, he really didn’t mean any harm and he thought over his words and with a grunt he deeply regretted them. He remembered the hurt that flashed across Tony’s face when he said the words he didn’t mean, it felt like someone was constantly stabbing him all over again everywhere in his body. 

At the sudden sound, Tony cleaned up his eyes and got straight to the point. He didn’t really want to lose track of what he wanted to say. “Before you speak a word, Peter, there’s a lot I’ve been wanting to say so please don’t interrupt me. I’ve known fear all my life, I felt it when my parents died, I felt it in that cave in Afghanistan, I felt it when the aliens got here, I felt it when Pepper almost died because of me, I felt it when I lost my best friend, believe me when I say I know fear. But all of that will never compare to the terror I felt when I received notice that you were hurt. Peter, we all care about you so much, you’re so important to all of us and we all want you to be your best self. And by this I don’t mean being the perfect kid or the perfect hero, don’t misunderstand me. What I’m trying to say here is that we care about you and we love you just for the person you are. You do not need to change for anyone.” Tony made a small pause to see Peter’s reaction. He was honestly in shock, for some reason the man’s words didn’t feel like a lie, like the lie he always told himself Tony said to him every time he said he cared, this felt like it came from his heart and it made Peter’s eyes well up with tears. Trying to avoid tears, Tony continued “I know what I said earlier was wrong and I shouldnt’ve forced you to stay here, but it really is for your own good. We have everything ready to begin this path for recovery whenever you feel the time is right, just know that we are here for you and we will not get tired of waiting.” 

Peter was honestly speechless, he was grateful to begin with for having Tony understand him, it actually made him feel like he could stay at the Compound and maybe make an eventual recovery. His mind didn’t believe he could but with his mentor’s words he was more than willing to try. He didn’t know what else to do but to throw himself with the little energy he had left in his body to Tony and hug him while he whispered “I hope we are now there” and when Tony hugged him back he, for once, believed everything would be okay.


	5. If you need a friend, then please just say the words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! new chapter is up! I hope you enjoy it! let me know what you think, I'm open to suggestions!

Tony really underestimated how hard it would be to recover an ill child. Sure, if it was something physical, something you could find on the textbooks it wouldn’t be this difficult. But the fact that it striked Peter mentally was very challenging as every mind was different and the disorders affected everyone in various ways. After that very emotional chat they had yesterday Tony was convinced things were going uphill from now on but apparently this was the wrong thing to think as just the day after the conversation, Peter was already down and as empty as he had been the past week. The engineer didn’t really understand where it all went wrong but for some reason Dr. Banner had found Peter laying on his room floor, IV unattached to his arm and probably unconscious for several minutes. It had all happened so fast he couldn’t exactly pinpoint when the kid he grew to love was pale once again with tears on his eyes from crying all morning. 

“What happened, Peter?” Tony couldn’t bring himself to be upset, he was mostly concerned about the wellbeing of his protegé, but he did notice a string of tiredness in his voice. It was obvious he hasn’t selpt properly since he found the kid in that alley but after what just happened he was sure he wouldn’t get a proper sleep as he would be by Peter’s side from now on until he was more stable and less.. breakable. 

“I do not deserve this.” It was a whisper, almost inaudible but Tony heard loud and clear. Pain spread across his chest and he remained silent almost begging the kid to keep talking which thankfully he did “I do not deserve your attention, nor do I deserve to be healthy. I don’t deserve to be on the team. I most definitely don’t deserve a good night’s sleep and I certainly don’t deserve food. I am just… not worth living” The last words made Tony’s internal alarm light up and he immediately typed an urgent call to Dr. Strange and Steve, he didn’t know what to do anymore so he might as well call two of the people who could actually help him instead of being useless as Tony was being at the moment. 

“I have tried finding peace, Mr. Stark, I really have. But I’m tired of trying and I can’t take the exhaustion anymore.” Tears began to show up in the teen’s eyes and Tony did what he knew best: he quantified the issue.

“Peter, in a scale from 1 to 10, how bad do you feel right now? be honest.” Tony knew about numbers and he knew how to deal with percentages so he thought this was the best way for him to be of use: he would work out a solution based on Peter’s numbers everyday. 

“A 9” He sounded almost embarrassed to say it out loud but it also felt so sincere, so ideas began flashing through the billionaire’s mind and he texted both Rogers and Strange to meet him in the common lounge, requesting Banner’s appearance as well. 

“That’s okay, kid, we can work with a 9.” He gave him a single hug and nodded at the nurse so she could push in his reinstalled IV some painkillers and sedatives for him to fall asleep.  
______  
Making his way down to the common lounge he bumped into Steve who had confusion all over his face. He couldn’t judge him though, he knew it would seem weird for a super soldier to get in a medical discussion about a kid he only met about six months ago. 

“So are you gonna tell me what am I needed for here?” He knew the question was there, and he knew it was coming but he didn’t really know how to word it until now. 

“You see, you’re enhanced too, plus the kid really idolizes you so I bet he’ll listen to you. Also, apparently you seem like the encouraging type so the kid might prefer that approach.” He couldn’t really tell Steve that he needed him there for what both Dr. Strange and Dr. Banner were about to tell him, he couldn’t tell him that he was still his go to person for when he needed some grounding. The thing about his parents and Bucky was still too fresh and even though they had gotten around an agreement he just didn’t want to seem weak enough that he gave in so easily into trusting the soldiers again. But he would be lying if he said he didn’t. The rational non emotional side of his mind knew for a fact that it was not Barnes’ decision and that it wasn’t his fault so he really was mostly over it but as he was the most stubborn being on this planet, he just wouldn’t let them know that just yet. 

The prior morning Vision had let Tony know what would happen from now on and what to do in order to make things right. Nevertheless they needed an actual doctor that could keep constant track on Peter and his progress. Tony knew that even though Banner was great at what he did, he just wasn’t the man for the job. Instead he reluctantly called Dr. Strange, an actual doctor with extensive neurological knowledge. Even if it hurts his ego, Tony knew he was the best option for the kid so he didn’t waste any time and went on to discuss the issue as soon as he got with Steve to the lounge and met both Strange and Banner. 

“To fill you in, Strange, there’s this kid, you might know him as Spider-Man, his working area is Queens but recently he’s moving more into the city but we know him in the team as Peter Parker. Long story short, he’s been starving himself and lost his healing factor alongside his strength and enhanced senses. He also got stabbed a few nights ago when he was out as his vigilante self. I called you in because you know how to deal with this better than anyone and he really needs to get better… I need him to get better.” The last part was a whisper and had Tony lowering his head, too embarrassed to show his emotions but as he already knew it would happen, Steve noticed and he stepped in, god, he couldn’t thank whoever is above enough for having the soldier back in his life.

“The thing is, Mr. Strange, we don’t know what to do from now on, so we were hoping you could help us out here. Dr. Banner can lead you in the matters of the effects of his enhancement and how they could affect treatment so, if you’ll help us we’d like you to meet him.” Steve was so calm yet so formal and stern, he really admired that of him. Without much words Dr. Strange followed the three men into the Med Bay where they found Peter asleep and thankfully his IV still attached to his arm. 

“Show me his chart, please.” It was kind of amusing to see how professional Stephen sounds when talking medicine. He had heard the man talk before about mystic arts and he seemed collected but not quite this much. This was almost as if the man was born to diagnose people and order people to inject several fluids onto a person. 

The man studied the chart carefully and quickly, like he had had experience enough to manage to understand everything in such a little time, it was kind of great to watch. He made some facial expressions Tony couldn’t actually decipher and he was losing his patience, he just wanted to know what to do next to help the kid out of the hole. “So… any thoughts you’d be interested into sharing?” Tony didn’t intend it to sound rude but for some reason it did, earning him a scolding glance from Steve, an eye roll from Bruce and a surprisingly understanding look from Strange. 

“ We need to correct his dehydration and malnutrition first in order to restore his organ function. With Banner’s notes about his enhancement and the amount of fluids in his system they should begin healing in a matter of days. If we decide to go for the psychic part first it’s very likely that he won’t have the energy to receive treatment and it’ll be a waste of time and resources. From what I can tell Peter has self-destructive and suicidal tendencies, which is obvious from the remains of an overdose of.. painkillers, was it? That would mostly be enough to send him to an inpatient facility but as I’m guessing from the look on your face that will not be happening anytime soon.” Tony felt like he was in a rollercoaster of emotions, at first he felt shocked at the lack of sarcasm from Strange at his comment, then he was heartbroken hearing about Peter’s seemingly malfunctioning organs, then he felt angry at himself for not noticing sooner what was going on, afterwards a wave of anxiety took over him thinking about Peter stuck inside a mental hospital thinking that he’s insane and then relief filled his body when Strange understood what he was trying to say through his face. 

Apparently the doctor knew the engineer needed time to process what had just been told to him because he took several minutes before continuing “The whole purpose of inpatient care is having someone look over the patient the 24 hours of the day so if you’re planning on following my assessment on the kid I suggest you start looking for nurses or train the team to keep an eye over Peter every hour of the day.” It didn’t sound like a bad idea, actually. They were about 15 of them currently at the compound available to help him out so they could easily take turns, it didn’t seem impossible.

“We would have to talk to the team first, Tony. We also need Peter’s consent and we need to make sure everyone’s prepared in case something happens.” Tony really hated how right Steve usually was. He had to call Pepper and May and Happy to let them know the course of action. “I can provide training in the path to follow in these cases, we will train everyone to make sure they all know what to do in every possible scenario.” Bruce finally spoke up and immediately Strange joined him and nodded, apparently he was willing to train them too. 

They were too absorbed in deciding what would happen that they didn’t really realize when the teenager awoke from his slumber, apparently hearing most of the conversation. It made Peter feel like he was in the movies, like the only thing he lacked was soda and popcorn. Wait, no, he did not deserve to enjoy a movie. Peter was so tired of fighting a constant battle against a mind who didn’t seem to want him to be happy, he was exhausted of feeling out of control of the most common feeling in the world: happiness. His thoughts were very loud, loud enough that made both doctors, the engineer and the soldier turn to him and look at the teen with shocked eyes. 

Before any of them could open their mouths, Peter spoke up “Don’t bother, I heard all of it. And before you ask, I do, I do want to get better, whatever you think is best, but please don’t take me to a crazy hospital? I would prefer to stay here, if that’s okay with you.” It made Tony’s insides warm up to see Peter actively participating of the small conversation they were having so without hesitation he smiled at Peter and hugged him tightly. 

Steve lost no time as when Tony turned back to him he saw the soldier talking to the communication system with a fond smile on his face “Avengers, assemble.”


	6. Time to sort yourself out.

For Tony it was quite hilarious seeing the team’s faces when they showed up in their training room. Apparently everyone thought they’d be facing another alien invasion and Tony couldn’t help but laugh at the fact that they were actually here to be taught how to babysit a mentally ill enhanced teenager. Every single member of the team was there, even Wanda decided to show up, and when Tony, Steve, Bruce and Stephen showed up to the room their expressions changed from worry to utter confusion. Walking into the room Tony was hit with the realization that this process was going to be extremely long and that this was probably going to be the challenge that would put the group to check to see if they all could actually work together again or if it didn’t work any longer. 

“So is anyone gonna tell us why we’re here? I was kicking Clint’s ass at Mario Karts.” The first one to speak up was Sam, as sarcastic as always. He didn’t seem offended but rather he was in a playful mood and everyone just played along with it letting out a small laugh while Stephen and Bruce set up the case in Tony’s phone so the whole team could see the situation and what the course of action would be. Surprisingly enough, Vision made an apparance as well, placing himself next to Steve, from what Tony could tell, he had something to contribute to the teen’s recovery so it was more than welcome. 

“As I assume all of you know by now, Peter has been having a rough time lately and we need to make it right so he can have a normal life from now on.” Stephen took the word first and began explaining the medical conditions Peter had at the moment. He was basically repeating to the team what he had told Tony just a couple of hours prior. He sensed the team tensing up and suddenly everyone’s face was flat. “Medically it would be recommended that Peter was sent to an inpatient facility so he can’t worsen his situation but Stark believes this isn’t the right path, and the kid agreed so we came up with a solution that can be applied here at the Compound.” Stephen seemed like he was going to explain the plan but Tony felt it was his duty, it was his protegé and his responsibility so he might as well be accountable for what the team could be up to. 

“For those of you unaware, Dr. Stephen Strange is here to help us making Peter’s system work again properly. So basically what we thought, taking into account that we’re all here and we’re all considerably stronger than the kid is at the moment, and you know how he can get. I’m rambling now, am I not? look, what I’m trying to say here is that we thought it would be good for Peter have that 24/7 care with people he knows and cares about. But if you don’t feel up to it, I completely understand, we’ll figure something else out, I can take him to Korea to Dr. Cho and we could work with May for his school problems and then he could stay with” Tony was shut off by Barnes, surprisingly enough, who instead of yelling or act distantly as he had been since coming back from Wakanda with T’challa and Shuri, went straight up to Tony and patting his back he firmly said “I’m in, anyone else?” 

It didn’t take long for the whole team to start chanting and hugging both Tony and Steve, nevertheless one person held back and everyone seemed quiet when realizing Wanda didn’t join in and at everyone’s confusion she voiced her troubles “I can’t look after a kid, Stark. What if I do something that makes it worse? What if he does something and we have no idea what to do? Don’t hate but I’d rather not have that in my long list of regrets.” Bruce was the one who took the word now and he simply stated what the engineer, the solder and both doctors had thought before “We will train you to act accordingly with the kid and what to do in given situations. Tony also insisted on being there with Peter as long as he can so if anything happens it’s very likely that he will be there.” Expectantly the whole team waited for the sokovian’s reaction and when she smiled she was reluctantly pulled into the group hug.

_____

When Peter opened his eyes he recognized the sterilized smell the medical bay had. He had been here for a few days and it had become kind of familiar, which terrified Peter to no end. What came into the teen's sight at first was the billionaire talking to some nurses. Thanks to his enhanced hearing, which has surprisingly made a comeback, Peter learned that he was being transferred to his own room. That was kind of odd, he thought that Tony was messing around when he said he had a room next to Vision's quarters. Apparently he wasn't and it made Peter sigh with relief, he thought that if he spent another second in this room he would go mad. 

"Oh, Peter, you're up, that's good" Tony seemed startled at first that he was awake but then he retook his collected expression and went on to explain the teenager what would happen next "So, kid, I know the last time we had this conversation it didn't go as planned so I'm planning on keeping it simple this time and making it easy for you. The thing is we are all worried about you and the guy that was here before is Dr. Stephen Strange, a very famous neurosurgeon who believes you really need help. We are willing to stand by you every step of the way so what do you say pal? Let's begin" The teen seemed to make himself smaller and simply nodded while the engineer continued "You're being moved to your own quarters, this room really sucks. You'll notice a lot of people around you in these next few weeks, I'll introduce them to you properly once you're out of here. Also, you're keeping the IV for the next couple of weeks and that is not up for discussion, you need your strength back and it will stay. That being said, I got you some clothes for you to change back to normal and I'll come pick you up in a couple of hours to take you to your room." With that, Tony left the room, cellphone in hand, apparently about to make a call. 

Peter didn't know exactly how to feel. When Mr. Stark mentioned having a lot of people around him it made him anxious to no end. He has never been known for his people skills and he really didn't think he could handle having someone near all the time. When Tony got to the part of keeping the IV, Peter felt utterly childish and frustrated, he knew he didn't need it anymore and he also knew that 1500 calories were way too much being sent into his system through his veins, he just couldn't have it. But the teen wasn't dumb, he knew that if the ripped it off it would be worse for him and his diet, he probably wouldn't be back on it for a few months but as soon as he was out of here he would make sure to do so. What surprised the enhanced kid the most was the heartwarming feeling he got when he sensed Tony's concern. Peter thought it was unnecessary but it was sweet he worried anyway. He hadn't felt loved in a long time and it was nice to know someone was paying attention whether he lived or died. With a smile on his face Peter got up to change to the clothes the man had brought him not so long ago. 

____

As soon as Tony was out of the room he called the one person he knew he owed a long explanation to: May. She deserved to know what was going on with her nephew but Tony was having a real hard time trying to figure out how to tell her the kid was gravelly injured both mentally and physically without dragging her into a cardiac arrest. Thankfully the woman picked up at the first ring, not a surprise to the engineer as he was expecting it. 

"How is he? Is he harmed? Should I go there? What is going on with my nephew?" An avalanche of questions flooded the line as Tony got a bit away of the phone to try to lower the vibrations in his ears. "Hi, May. I need you to calm down, Peter will be okay, we're taking great care of him at the Compound, that's what I wanted to talk to you about" The engineer made a small pause before continuing "A doctor came to assess him taking into account his enhanced peculiarities and he believed the best course of action is a constant vigilance on him. The team is more than willing to help us keeping an eye on him and I bet Peter will love their company, I just need to know you're alright with it" As Tony finished the sentence a sob was heard through the phone and Tony knew she was already crying, it was really hard to hear. 

"Do you think I could see him? I wanna make sure he's okay with this. I don't even know what's wrong with him" As May cried louder Tony was hovered with thoughts. If she let May come she wouldn't go seeing her nephew only skin and bones, not to mention the stab wound. Besides from that, the billionaire was sure Peter wouldn't want to put May through that. "I'm sorry, May, I really wish you could but it's best if you don't right now, he's not in the best shape and he needs some rest, he's probably asleep right now." It wasn't completely a lie but Tony still felt bad for hiding the truth from her "okay then, please let me know anything and everything, I have to get back to work now, give him a hug from me." And with that the line was off. 

Tony had already called Happy and Pepper to update them on the kid's status and what they would be doing, the driver even volunteered to take a turn in taking care of Peter while Pepper simply expressed her sympathy and made sure Tony knew she was there for anything they needed, also letting the billionaire know she would take care of his company's responsibilities while the kid was at the Compound. Now all that was left to do was get on track and make this training the best the team has ever had.


	7. This ride is a wild one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so sorry!! I've been so busy studying and I haven't been able to update but here is a new chapter and I hope you enjoy! I will not be able to update regularly but I will try my best to post once or twice a week.

The team received training in pretty much every area all Banner, Strange, Steve and Tony could think of. They were trained to respond accordingly in case Peter stopped eating, or in case he was asleep longer than usual, or in case he was looking way too long at the window and fidgeting a lot. They had been studying the kid's behaviour the past days and they picked up on a pattern that usually led to self-harm or starvation. So the team was finally ready to face the challenge, training had gone smoothly for the past 5 hours and everyone was prepared but theory and practice were two completely different things. 

After an hour and a half of Tony having visited Peter's room and checking up on the team's training, the man was back in the room where he found the teen already changed into the clothes he had brought him and seemingly anxious. At the sight of Tony, Peter quickly shot up from bed which caused him to stumble and fall back to bed. "Easy there tiger." Tony took it as a joke and laughed at Peter's frustrated face, it was a beginning to see him react to something so this was good. 

"I talked to your doctor and the IV is staying for the next 15 days, and I'm talking the 24 hours of the day, no cheating." It was reasonable, or so Tony thought but apparently Peter thought otherwise because he let out another frustrated sigh and continued to silently listen. "You'll be staying in your room and it's best for your stab wound for you not to move around a lot, you'll have company all the time so that won't be boring, or so I hope." Without registering any reaction Tony continued "in 3 weeks you will start physical therapy. This being said, we expect you to keep down solids by then, if not you can forget about training until you can actually metabolise food." Tony swore he saw panic in the teen's eyes but he mastered lying and quickly hid it away. "And without further do, lets go to your quarters."

The way down to Peter's room was quiet, the only sound that could be heard was some screeching from the wheelchair Peter was in. It made him feel so embarrassed and unable to do the things he knew how to do, but at the moment he knew that fighting what Tony said was plain stupid as it would probably gain him more time in that awful alcohol smelling bay. Peter's thoughts were interrupted when he heard a familiar name. "Hey, kid, earth calling Peter. I was telling you that I talked to your aunt and I remember you told me not to tell her anything but she knows you'll be staying here for some time, and she's fine as long as you call someday. I didn't want to tell her about those ribs sticking out your abdomen so I take you'd rather talk to her yourself" Tony wasn't completely wrong, he didn't want to put her through anymore pain than he already had, but it was also true that he didn't want to face her and disappoint her all over again. So Peter simply nodded and continued drowning in his thoughts  
.  
Arriving to the kid’s quarters it was like any child’s dreams come true. It had absolutely everything anyone could ever want and it was probably three or more times the size of the apartment he shared with his aunt back in Queens. When opening the door to the quarters it could be seen to the right a huge private kitchen and then further going straight on there was a normal sized living room with a TV way too big for anyone who asked. turning to the right in the hall there were three doors separate from each other, one was a ginormous bathroom with a tub, the other was a closet which, to Peter’s surprise, was full of clothes his size and apparently the style he liked as well, and the last door showed the massive bedroom that Peter assumed was his. It had science posters and Star Wars legos and movies everywhere, in the table lied a brand new computer along with a new StarkPhone. It was definitely more than Peter had ever expected and he couldn’t actually voice his emotions.

“I know it’s not much, this was the way it was left when you blatantly turned me down back three months ago so we didn’t exactly know if you’d like it. If you don’t you can stay down Vision’s while we redo this one. I will have that wall down the kitchen blown up so we can design your own proper lab for spidey things and stuff, but yeah I hope you like it so far.” Tony almost seemed embarrassed, like it wasn’t enough what Peter had in front of his eyes to which Peter annoyingly rolled his eyes to, this was definitely more than he deserved but he was so grateful to have this and Tony in his life, so instead of scolding Tony for being too hard on himself he made his best effort to keep balanced on his feet and stood up from the wheelchair to give Tony a hug and whisper a grateful ‘thank you’ in his ear and the engineer was sure he had never felt such love for a kid in his life as he did right now. 

As their emotional moment was coming to an end, and as if it was on cue, Steve appeared in the bedroom’s door with Sam by his side. “If it’s alright, I think it’s time for Peter to meet the team.” The Captain smiled at Peter who nervously looked at Tony who simply nodded with a reassuring smile. “Lets do it.” It was plain and almost emotionless but Tony had never been more excited to hear some words in his life. 

As the four exited the bedroom, the teen in the wheelchair and pout on his face, and headed to the living room Peter could hear a bunch of voices laughing and talking freely and he was so jealous of them for being able to not be as nervous and anxious as he was for what was about to come. Peter started scratching his hand to the point where it had began to bruise, which thankfully no one picked up on because he would be toast by now if they knew he did that when he was nervous. As they arrived he stopped and pulled down his sleeves to cover up the blood that was beginning to show up in his hand from the scratching and he tried to force a smile out but it came out more as a pout. 

“So, Peter, this is the team, and you will be seeing them around here a lot so why not make some friends?” Steve tried to sound friendly, he really did but to Peter’s ears it sounded more like he was forced into taking care of a broken child who wasn’t even his. It made Peter want to curl up in a ball and cry but he couldn’t, not right now so he simply swallowed that lump in his throat and tried again that smile. 

“Basically, kid, what’s going to happen is that we will all take turns to be here, doctor’s recommendation. We have already arranged a schedule and it’s coming to effectiveness in the next hour after we’ve met each other and talked and stuff, is that okay with you?” Tony spoke up making the team shut up and look expectantly at the teen. It was so intimidating and awful to have everyone expect something from him, Peter hated to be the center of attention and he didn’t really know what to do, he simply stared blankly and gave his mentor a look that he intended to be a pleading one. But of course Tony would ignore it and continue to introduce everyone. 

Peter knew who they were, of course he did. He didn’t only fight them back in Leipzig, but they were also the greatest team there was, there was absolutely no way someone could simply not know about them. Before he was eager to get to know them personally, to be able to train with them and have inside jokes about missions but now it all seemed so far away, so pointless. The day had begun so great, so full of expectations and motivation but now he was deflated in front of his lifetime heroes looking as frail as ever and they didn’t think of him as the guy who potentially stopped the Avengers’ stuff from being stolen but instead the little boy made of nothing but skin, bones and depression. These thoughts made him deaf to the outside world, he didn’t listen when Tony was talking about how Natasha was the strongest woman he’d ever met, or how Thor kicked his ass back when Loki attacked New York. He didn’t even pay attention when Wanda showed him what she could do with her hands and how she moved a glass of water from the kitchen to her hands with her mind. He knew he should be starstruck, and he knew he should be grateful but right now he was nothing but numb. 

For about 5 minutes more everyone kept talking about their experiences and stuff, apparently they intended that those stories made Peter more excited for the upcoming times but then Tony noticed Peter wasn’t exactly present in the room, and thankfully for Peter he stepped up and saved the teen from a very embarrassing moment “okay everyone, that’s enough for today. I will be staying with the kid until dinner and then Vision, you’re up.”. Everyone seemed to get the memo and immediately left the room, making the only noise in the room Peter’s heavy breathing and Tony’s steps towards the kid. 

Silently the engineer led Peter to his room and carefully helped him to bed where without further do he broke down and started sobbing hysterically. It made Tony really frustrated to know he was powerless in this situation, he just had to let him have his good cry. Or so he thought because the next thing he knew, Peter was choking on his own breath and turning red. Thank god Strange had prepared everything in the room as Tony could easily find the bag for Peter to breathe in, which thankfully calmed the boy down in a matter of minutes, which felt excruciatingly long for the billionaire. “I don’t want to be here anymore” It was just a whisper, full of emotions, sure, but the voice came out so little and so fragile that with a sad look and without much left to do, Tony held him tight to his chest hoping and praying that this wouldn’t happen again “I know, kid.”


	8. Make no mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! yay!! I'm going back to classes on Monday so I'll try to post a new chapter Sunday morning. Also, as I said, my schedule allows me to post on Saturdays so I think that will be the new update day! 
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments section!

Peter knew in his bones that nothing that Tony was proposing or the team tried to do would work. He had come to an understanding with himself, he accepted that he was broken and there was no going back. Peter had learned to live like this, he had almost created some sort of routine so he could survive even if he felt dead inside. But he had to keep it up for his aunt and his friends, he couldn’t leave them unprotected. So he designed a plan: he would wake up early, regardless of how little he had slept the night before, greet May with a bright smile, head to the bathroom and take something to eat on the way and give it away to a homeless person before getting on the subway. At school he tried to keep up with Ned’s talking but it was too much to handle and Peter didn’t have a choice but to lower their communication to the bare minimum. After school he’d go straight back home to a sticky note that notified what always happened: May had taken the night shift or she was away on a business trip and stay until 4am in the morning fighting the demons in his head just to repeat the cycle all over again. Peter wasn’t dumb, he knew that this was no way to live, it exhausted him to no end, but he also knew that he couldn’t let May know about what was really going on because then she’d have to spend money they didn’t have on a mental hospital and doctors and stuff Peter was convinced he didn’t need.

So Peter lied. When Tony asked him if he wanted to go to the main hall to accompany the team to have dinner he said yes without a doubt, even acting excitedly. When in the table, he’d try his best to make as many believable facial expressions as he could and divert the conversation to different topics. When asked if he wanted something to eat he kindly refused saying he felt full for the fluids in his veins. It wasn’t completely a lie, the teen truly felt like he could throw up any minute, and he felt the need to rip the IV away from his arm. But he still didn’t, instead he’d say he’d give it a try tomorrow knowing he would manage to say a completely different lie. The kid even offered to clean up the table, already knowing the answer, but he still did because he knew it would divert the attention to the fact that he was trying to be helpful instead of focusing on how little weight he had on his body. “You go to bed, Peter, you must be tired.” His thoughts were interrupted by Vision’s voice who apparently had the night shifts to take care of him so he reluctantly got up from the table and started slowly walking towards his quarters. It would be a lie if he said he wasn’t tired, even breathing took a toll on him, but he knew how to hide it so he would be okay for now. 

When they got there Peter lost no time and made his way to the bathroom where he had left his pyjamas before leaving with Tony to the dining room, changing quickly into them he made sure not to make eye contact with Vision for how embarrassed he felt for having a babysitter all day and all night. The teen didn’t know if he should ignore whoever came through the day or if he should engage in conversation with them, it made his anxiety spike and start to scratch his hand all over again, opening the small wound the previous one had made. As if on cue, Vision made an appearance through the wall between the living room and his bedroom with an apologetic look on his face “Peter your hand is slightly red, I’ll cover it for you, if you let me” Peter could feel his cheeks burning up but he didn’t say a word and instead he let him bandage the wound. 

“Why are you doing this?” Words left Peter’s mouth before he could stop them. He didn’t want to hear a lie about how they cared about him and how they wanted him to be okay. He knew they had to look after him because Tony felt guilty about all of this and he felt like it was his responsibility to carry with Peter’s burden.  
“This thing we have here is like a team, and no one gets left behind. You’re one of us, Peter and the team will always have your back.” That answer was definitely unexpected. It was logical though, even Tony kept having Captain America’s back when they were fighting. But he wasn’t an avenger, he was not a part of this thing, he wasn’t a part of anything, in fact. So he simply nodded and whispered a tiny “oh” before thanking Vision for his wound clean up. 

Before Peter could say goodnight, even if it was barely 9pm, Vision came up with a question that froze Peter’s brain “How do you feel tonight, Peter?” He always had that post it in his head that said that he was doing great and that everything was just fine. He didn’t want to lie, he really didn’t but right now he couldn’t let Mr. Stark or the team down so with a smile on his face he simply nodded and said “I’m doing great! Completely knackered but I feel fine, thanks.” It seemed to satisfy the evolved version of J.A.R.V.I.S. so he let out a sigh and got to bed. The teen thought that the minute he got to bed Vision would leave the room to let him sleep in peace but, as it frequently happened, he was wrong. Vision simply sat down in a chair across the door, next to Peter’s bed and took out a cooking book. 

“Are- Are you going to stay here all night long?” He didn’t want to make it sound like he didn’t want Vision there because the company was never unwanted but he really wanted to let himself cry and he had already noticed Tony had taken down the locks on every door so he couldn’t lock himself up in the bathroom to cry, nor anywhere else, really. For a moment, just a moment, Peter was about to break down and throw a tantrum about independence and autonomy and how he was a grown up boy and didn’t need this but then he collected himself awaiting the answer.

“I don’t sleep Peter, nor do I eat. I am practicing my cooking with Wanda so I’m reading these books at night. Also, it was recommended by Dr. Banner and Dr. Strange that you we keep an eye on you at night so you can’t harm yourself.” Now that was rude. How dare they take away his privacy because they thought he’d slice open his veins the minute someone walked out the door. How dare they deprive him of the one thing that made him normal. As much as it was annoying, he couldn't help but laugh at the fact that Vision an Peter were alike like that, they didn't sleep or eat. He was trying his hardest to keep his temper at bay but, luckily for him, the moment was interrupted by the engineer bursting through Peter’s bedroom door apparently not too big on privacy either. 

“Look what I found kid! These are your old webshooters, if you want we can look over them tomorrow because you had some great ideas and I think they would make the new ones even better.” He was so enthusiastic it made Peter want to puke. In his mind he just wanted to curl up in a ball under the bed and never come out but in real life he had to plaster on a big smile and act like he was amused by the same shooters he’d seen a million times and which he was embarrassed for, they truly sucked. “woah Mr. Stark!! that’s amazing! I hadn’t seen those in over 7 months!” It wasn’t a lie. When Tony recruited him for the battle in Germany he had taken the old suit and confiscated it saying ‘no hero of mine wears sweatpants to fight crime’ so when Mr. Stark had taken back the suit he’d made for Peter, the teen had to make a new one with new webshooters so he could stop the Vulture. 

“Now look at you, so happy, so responsible, going to bed early, you make me proud.” That created a lump in Peter’s throat. He didn’t realize how awful lying to his childhood role model would be, the teen truly felt awful. But then again there was nothing that he could do, at least like this he would make sure that they stopped worrying so much, even if it meant that his emotions rotted inside. “Well of course, Mr. Stark, I want to be better and not make anymore mistakes!” It was almost absurd how hilarious that sounded in Peter’s mind. The only thing he was good at was screwing up. So it definitely seemed impossible for him to actually be better.

"I actually came to let you know that we're having board games night tomorrow here at your quarters, if you'd like to join us. Everyone will be here and we'll have a nice time." The thought of social interaction made Peter's spine hairs go up and his senses went into full alarm, but then again he was able to collect himself back together before showing weakness. Anyone would've thought that having a games night with the Avengers was the best thing that could happen to anyone but to Peter it was just another scenario, probably two or three hours long, where he had to act like he didn't want to die. 

"That sounds amazing! Can't wait!" Peter knew he should've added more detail to his emotions, that way people believed his lie more but he simply didn't have the energy right now, he had to properly process how he was going to act tomorrow and the billion possible ways he could screw up what was supposed to be a night to have fun. Just when he thought god's punishment on him was over for the night, the man spoke up again "Peter, I also want to tell you that I spoke to Strange and he thinks we could give solids a go on Monday. It will be two weeks since we brought you in and he thinks its worth the shot, so just let us know if you're up for it and what you'd like to have." The kid was absolutely mortified. He hadn't had a proper meal in months and he just didn't want to sit in a table filled with his heroes expecting him to eat a full breakfast when he could barely keep some crackers down. He tried not to think about the calories, he really did, but he knew he'd probably would have to ingest 500 or so for the doctors to be satisfied with his 'progress' and it made him sick to his stomach because 500 calories meant three hours exercising and his body begged him not to. But as always he put on a little smile and as excitedly as he could he said "that's amazing Mr. Stark! I honestly miss having something in my stomach, I'm tired of this tube." Peter tried to sound honest and he did hate the IV, and with a trusting smile from the engineer and a positive look from Vision it seemed like the conversation was about to end.

“That’s great kid, have a nice sleep. Hope you’re entertained Vision.” And with that the billionaire left Peter with the blankets covering his entire body up to his neck, curled up in a ball, hugging his knees and wishing the knife that the criminal he’d encountered a few days ago had hit him a little harder so he didn’t have to play pretend any longer.


	9. The day will come when you can't cover up what you've done (pt. 1).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 will be updated in the next days so stay around to see what it holds!

It had been a very long week. Apparently Peter wasn’t aware of the fact that the whole team gathered on Wednesdays to hold a little get together to know each other better and that came to bite his ass when they had come 5 days ago to his quarters to play board games. Having the IV attached to his arm made everything even more uncomfortable than it already was, and everyone in the room expected him to answer questions about himself, just like every other member of the team did. They just didn’t understand that Peter had to think about every single answer about 10 times before actually saying it out loud. All in all it was a very exhausting evening. After that torture, Peter had expected that he would be left alone but then again he never really got to do what he wanted these past few days, instead he had his personal babysitters around every single hour of the day and it was taking a toll on the kid's happy façade. 

He had managed to keep up his act the past week, it was actually surprising. On Thursday he was able to skip two meals by saying he was feeling tired and would stay in his quarters, to which without much protest, Wanda obliged taking her own breakfast and lunch down to his room to hang out with him while it was Rhodey’s turn to take care of him. With the soldier it was definitely much more difficult to make an excuse so he had to go down to the main hall to actually socialize. Everyone seemed surpirsed to have Peter in the table all smiley and excited. What they were definitely unaware of was the fact that every time someone complimented him on his improvement he was a step closer to sneak around and cut his wrists. He knew there were several tools he could use. There was Tony’s lab, the kitchen, Natasha’s equipment’s compartiment, hell even Captain America had his little knives in his quarters. Peter restrained himself from seeking for them because if he failed and he survived, or if he didn’t reach his destination in time he’d probably get strapped to the bed and get tube fed, which he really wasn’t looking forward to. So instead he talked to Bruce and Tony about science and pretended to laugh with Sam and Clint when they made fun of them for being nerds, even though deep down his heart ached with the insult. 

All things considered he didn’t absolutely hate having a nanny every hour of the day. He enjoyed being around Tony, Wanda and Thor the most, they really tried to understand his needs and tried to make the situation as comfortable as possible for the teen. Nevertheless Rhodey and Steve thought that pushing Peter to recovery should be the way to go. He understood where they were coming from but right now he just wanted to be held and feeling like nothing would go wrong. Sometimes Shuri came and hung out with him while T’Challa was in his turn to take care of Peter and it was amazing to feel like a teenager again instead of a charity case or a broken vase. Natasha, Clint, Sam and Bucky tried their best to be as neutral as possible and treat him as they would treat any other child but it was almost impossible for them the keep an eye over their shoulder whenever Peter moved a muscle, as if he’d try to take the IV away or cut himself in front of them. He couldn’t wait for this to be over, Peter was definitely growing out of patience and he just wanted to go back to school and hold his aunt and never let her go. But Tony and Strange seemed to have different plans. 

It was currently Sunday morning, Bucky had had the overnight shift which he’d spent reading books on the Cold War and the technology the Soviets used. Peter thought it was masochist but he was definitely in no position to judge him considering the reason he was babysitting Peter in the first place. The past week had been... draining. He felt absolutely drained from any emotion and he was at a point of no return, Peter knew that by now. He knew that right now the only thing that would ease that ache in his chest would be to either harm himself or smash an entire room. After a very dull quiet breakfast with Bucky at 6am the billionaire came through the bedroom doors, apparently way too excited, way to alive for Peter. 

"Hey, kid. Guess what? Today's a very special day because you are going to call your aunt and tell her how much you love her, how does that sound?" At Tony's words, two things happened in the room: first, Bucky silently got up from his seat and headed to the door while on Peter's side, every bit of colour left his face. He was definitely not ready to face the woman who'd taken care of him for so many years, he didn't want her to know how fucked up he really was. She always knew what was wrong with him and he really feared that at the sound of his voice she'd come here and see what truly was going on. It just wasn't a good day, he had woken up emptier than usual, he barely had the energy to look at Bucky, let alone Tony. But he had to keep up his act so he could stop being a bother for the Avengers, he just wanted to go back to Queens and stay in bed all day and never face a person again. 

"That's great Mr. Stark! I've missed her so much!" Peter truly hated lying, especially to Tony, as he was the one person he truly looked up to. But right now he was desperate. He needed to do something about the emptiness and he saw the shot and he took it without a second thought so without allowing Tony the chance to even respond he quickly took the word "Mr. Stark, I was wondering if maybe I could have some privacy for the call? If it's no bother, I'd like to talk to her in private" Expectantly, Peter waited for a reply or even an expression from Tony, and when a smile came he felt relieved "Sure kid, I've seen how you're really trying so why not? I'll be right outside the door, don't try anything funny." And with that the door was shut, leaving a ringing phone in the T.V. stand and a teenager alone with his thoughts.

Peter took the phone to his ears and to May's voice he broke down "May I miss you so so much" he quickly collected himself after a few tears escaped his eyes, he couldn't waste any time so he began looking for aspirins and razors. Thankfully he'd paid enough attention to Bruce and Stephen when they came to the room to give him his daily medication, something for reactivating the organs or such, he didn't really know but what he did know was that the aspirins were in the far left border of a very spacious stand by his desk and he quickly took out two packages filled with 32 pills each, just in case. 

"Peter, honey, how are you? Do you feel any better? Should I ask Mr. Stark to change anything about your treatment? You know we can adjust the conditions to your needs" It was sweet hearing her voice and how she cared but right now he was on a mission and he was determined to go through with it so he simply nodded and answered "No, May, I feel great, much stronger, really. I might come back home earlier!" 

Lies and more lies flooded Peter's mouth as he reassured his aunt when the teen finally found what he was looking for. They weren't that hard to find, actually. The razors were on the top drawer of the bathroom stand, and Peter thought that, as everyone thought he'd be accompanied at all times, there would be no need for them to actually hide them but oh, were they wrong. 

"That's amazing sweetheart! I really wish we could continue talking but I have to head back to work now, shift's about to end and I need to prepare for the person who's coming. I love you to the moon and back" As she was beginning to say goodbye, Peter thought appropriate that the hiding place for his new acquisitions was under the mattress so he quickly shoved the items in there as he took the phone again. "I love you, May, I promise I'll do my best to get better." And with that Peter ended the call and as if on cue, Wanda, Tony and Stephen got into the room. Wanda was currently on her shift so he understood why she was there. But Tony and Strange? That couldn't be good. The last time Mr. Stark mentioned Strange it was about eating again and it made Peter freak out, and he really wasn't emotionally ready for that. 

Destiny, nevertheless, didn't care about what Peter wanted so instead of coming for a nice conversation, he saw Tony entering the room with a glass of water with a straw in it and some saltine crackers in the other hand. "Absolutely not." It was instinctual to answer just that to an unasked question. It had been so long since he'd had anything in his mouth and he just didn't want that guilty feeling in his gut ever again. 

"Peter, it's time. Tomorrow it'll be two weeks. Come on, don't be stubborn." Peter tried to to keep his act up at all times so instead of fighting Tony with whatever strength he had left in his body he shyly nodded and allowed Tony to sit by his side on the bed while Stephen took a sit in front of him and Wanda simply stood in the hallway waiting for them to leave the room. "Take your time, Peter, and remember it's okay if you can't eat the four crackers, remember baby steps is still movement." Stephen was the one to take the word now and it was actually pretty comforting that he wasn't expecting something from him, he just wanted him to try and that was more than enough for Peter. 

Slowly, Peter took a cracker and took the tiniest bite off it and bit it for what felt like a million times. He made sure to always pass it with water so it would dissolve faster and his body would be tricked into thinking he was fuller than he actually was. This continued on for the next three crackers and a half, and he really wanted to make it to the fourth one, he didn't want to disappoint Tony so he took the last big bite and immediately regretted it. His heart felt like it was going a billion times per hour and his stomach felt like a time bomb that could explode at any minute. He honestly felt about to die and apparently Wanda was the only one who noticed because when his stomach was about to heave she spoke up "That's enough for today, let the kid alone." Apparently both men knew that she was right because they were out of the room in a matter of seconds after congratulating Peter on his 'successful effort'. 

"You know, Peter, you can stop playing pretend." Wanda spoke up after a couple of minutes of silence and apparently this was all Peter needed to let himself puke in the vase Stephen had brought in case something like that happened. "I thought you promised you wouldn't use your powers on me." Peter said after having a sip of water in an effort to let the bitter taste in his mouth go away. "I didn't, you simply looked like absolute shit." It was almost like a confirmation of Peter's fears, he had even failed at lying, he wasn't good enough even for lying, which should be what every teen is good at.

"Mhm, I'll try to sleep it off, if it's alright with you." Peter's words came out as a whisper as Wanda kindly nodded and that's when the kid knew this was his chance. In two hours Wanda would trade shifts with Natasha and while she came from the training room and Wanda visited Vision next doors, he'd have his chance and he'd finally be able to end his pain.


	10. The day will come when you can't cover up what you've done. (pt. 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER IS VERY GRAPHIC. PLEASE DON'T READ IF YOU'RE EASILY TRIGGERED. 
> 
> I'm so sorry for not updating, I'm truly trying my best. But truly, though, the chapter is pretty triggering so please beware and stay safe!
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments section!

Thinking about it, this was definitely not one of Peter's greatest ideas. He had a very slim opportunity of actually succeeding, he would've to get the razors out of the mattress and shove them under the pillow so he could do this business while Natasha thought he was asleep. She never really paid much attention, most of the time she'd turn on the T.V. or spend the time on the computer talking to Nick Fury about secret stuff. So when Natasha was unaware enough Peter would get his chance. Thankfully, Wanda had left her shift early due to an apparent fail in Vision's attempt to cook curry chicken, so he had extra minutes in which he lost no time and took the blades and placed them carefully under the pillow. 

Things were actually working out just fine for Peter, he went on to lay down on the bed again when Ms. Romanoff arrived. "Hey, Peter! How was breakfast? I heard you had some crackers, that's great." It was absolutely hilarious that everyone at the compound thought he had managed to actually keep those down. For some reason Wanda trusted him enough to keep his secrets so she hadn't told anyone about the vomiting that occurred in the morning. "Yeah, it was nice feeling full again." Peter smiled for a moment as he watched Natasha get comfortable in the cushion in front of his bed. The spy was already beginning to go through the channels when the kid realized it was almost time, finally. 

It had been way too long since he last harmed himself. Probably about three weeks, and his body craved the feeling of numbness, of inevitable pain. Peter was looking forward to feel in control of his emotions, the past weeks he was completely out of control and he just couldn't wait to have everything in order again. He wanted his life back and this was just a small step towards it, it would eventually pay off. 45 minutes went by before the teen was sure the Russian woman was distracted enough. For some reason his heart began pounding like it never had before, it almost felt like he was scared someone would catch him doing something wrong, which would obviously be impossible as Natasha always had a late lunch and everyone was currently discussing the Sokovia Accords over a meal, so Peter simply ruled it out as his old anxiety making a comeback. 

The first cut was almost relieving. He was hiding under the covers and he simply drew a thin horizontal line across his forearm. Nevertheless, as the kid retook confidence on the practice, the cuts became deeper and wider, making blood appear quickly and in bigger volume. At first he thought he'd just cut a few times to relieve the stress in the back of his throat but now he was 37 cuts too deep and just couldn't bring himself to stop. He remembered every single time he'd failed. He remembered not being worthy enough for making part of the cool kids at school, he remembered how he had lost his parents and his uncle, he remembered the disappointment spread across Tony's face after the ferry fiasco, he remembered the drop in his grades in the past few months, he remembered this morning's crackers and the 60 calories in them. Silencing a pained scream, Peter broke down to tears. He couldn't actually make any sounds because Natasha would turn and see the mess he'd made in the bed, now painted in a crimson liquid, so he simply cried in silence, begging for the pain to stop. 

When Peter started feeling lightheaded he decided it was enough so he hid the razors under the pillow again and swallowed half of the pills he'd taken. He knew the prescription was supposed to be a pill per day but he felt such a strong headache he didn't think one would suffice. Now the teen laid in bed, arms stinging at the touch of his shirt's fabric, cheeks stained in tears and consciousness slowly drifting away as the T.V. was shut off and a voice screamed his name.  
___________  
Now things were going just the way Tony planned them to go, or at least he thought so. The team had managed to come to an agreement with the government and Ross about the Sokovia Accords and they were finally getting the rogue avengers off the ‘wanted’ list. The agreement basically consisted on the consistent communication on behalf of the team to the governments of the nation they were planning on taking action in and the threat they would be facing. It was a fair example of what Tony first thought the Accords would be like, and apparently Steve’s team did too because they all agreed and decided to meet up next week in the United Nations headquarters in the city to sign the new documents and end the whole fiasco the past year had been. Tony really thought everything was in order, now with this topic solved, Peter getting better and actually trying to be healthier, Pepper on top of every business situation and the wedding on the way, things just couldn’t be better. 

That idea, though, was quickly subsituted by an alarm blaring off in everyone’s phone in the conference room they were in. Tony wasn’t an idiot, he knew what the alarm meant, he created that specific gadget for one specific purpose. Without even giving anyone the chance to speak, he sprinted off towards Peter’s room where Wanda, Vision and Natasha were all trying to figure out how the hell the situation turned around entirely. Arriving in the kid’s room was absolute chaos. The first thing the billionaire saw was the bed, which was now vacant, leaving the mattress at sight, revealing a puddle of fresh blood and scattered pills. What caught his attention next was the bath’s water running and as an instinct, the man went in directly to the bathroom to find Natasha in the tub with Peter, fingers down his throat and puke all over the teen’s abdomen. Dots weren’t hard to connect, the kid had overdosed and the spy was trying to get them off his system. 

“Call Strange and tell him to come down here now” It was almost a whipser but Wanda quickly obeyed and picked up the phone. As she hung up, the doctor came through one of his mystical portals and went directly to Tony, apparenty approving of what Natasha was currently doing.

“It’s your choice, Stark. This is treatable here but if you decide you want him in the MedBay, we can also treat it there.” Tony didn’t really have many neurons left to think what to do. They were firing up way too fast and he only knew Peter dreaded being in that way too hospital smelling room. He would definitely want to stay in his quarters, and he would rather not have everyone bursting the doors at everytime. The engineer was surprised at how sensitive Strange could be when talking to Tony about Peter. It came in his training, though, he knew talking to loved ones was hard and he was simply being kind. 

“Here’s fine.” And with that, Stephen took over Natasha after every content in Peter’s digestive system was gone. That was the moment when Tony realized he couldn’t just stare. He went on and tried to change the bedsheets as correctly as he could so Strange could look over the teen in his own bed rather than on a bathroom floor. Right after he finished taking the newly red sheets out of the room, he heard a familiar cough, dropped the fabric on the floor and ran to Peter’s side. It was like that night was replaying in his head all over again, Peter was yet again really pale and blood was coming out of his body, again. It brought Tony’s heart to pieces and his eyes to tears. 

“The cuts are deep, Stark, but they will heal in a month or so. None of them need stitching, so just pass that bandaging kit in the top drawer, I’ll cover them up and call you to help me dress him up.” Stephen’s words came as a knife to the billionaire’s chest. He truly thought Peter was getting better, hell he even ate that same morning, and it frustrated the man to no end that he couldn’t exactly know what happened. He made a mental note to ask Wanda what happened after breakfast in the morning, see if maybe she saw him getting ill. But that made no sense, the training they received strictly advised that if anything happened, medically wise, both Tony and Stephen would be called. Answers were apparently in short supply lately so he’d have to be patient until then. 

His thoughts were interrupted by the main door of the kid’s quarters and before he could go off on the person who went inside, Strange spoke up “I asked Steve to go to Medical for two units of Peter’s blood. The amount he lost could be dangerous if not treated and he will need his strength back.” In that same moment he went back to the time when Banner first asked Peter for a sample of his blood. Tony thought it was ridiculous, but Banner said it could come in handy to know what Peter’s enhanced blood was composed by. He couldn’t thank the scientist enough for being right. 

As Steve got in the bathroom, the teen opened his eyes and, apparently too overwhelmed by the light, he squeezed them shut again. It was almost like something inside Tony told him to stay where he was but his body begged him to move. Nevertheless, the doctor was quick to speak as he told Tony to get the kid’s pyjamas from his closet, informing him that he was done bandaging the cuts and cleaning up the mess made by the previous puking session. When he got back from getting the clothes, he realized the situation in front of him now. Nothing that they had done in the past weeks had mattered, the kid was still a bag of bones, and now he had cuts in his arms, it made Tony’s heart fill up with guilt.

Changing the kid into the pj’s was heartbreaking. It felt like even the slightest movement could break him. It took almost 10 minutes for Strange and Tony to get the boy into the clothes. This was all accompanied by a very uncomfortable silence in which Steve looked at the picture apologetically, Strange put a brand new IV line in the kid’s arm while Tony tried to put on the teen’s pj’s pants. Saying that the scene was heartbreaking would be underestimating the facts. After they were done, Steve quietly picked up the kid while Strange followed up with Peter’s IV and blood bags. Tony simply held the teen’s hands and wondered where he had gone wrong. Everyone had grown to love the kid, even in the situation he was in. The billionaire vaguely wondered how they would’ve loved Peter if they had met him during the time Steve and Tony were fighting, he was so pure and giggly and just… so alive. Now it seemed like life was slowly leaving the kid’s body and there was no one who could stop it.


	11. ANNOUNCEMENT

Hey guys, this is not an update but rather a goodbye. 

I will not be continuing this story due to lack of time, motivation and creativity. I received some pretty cruel messages a while ago and it left me discouraged so I didn't actually feel like writing anymore. Aside from that, I've had a pretty rough couple of months since mid-august, that didn't contribute to my lack of creativity, if I'm honest. I don't want to keep a story unfinished up because I know how enfuriating it can be for readers. Last but not least, college has been getting harder and I need to focus my everyday on making sure I get through this semester cleanly. 

For those of you who actually liked this story and were reading it, I am so so sorry. Maybe in the future I will become a better writer and take the concept back, but for now I think it best for me to lay it down to rest. 

Thank you so so much for the support and the love I received over it and for the critiques that will only strengthen my writing skills. 

With love and appreciation,   
nhstarks


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